One of the most troublesome things for many parents who are going through a divorce is telling the children what’s about to happen. It’s imperative that you handle this conversation well so you can ensure that it’s done in a way that makes it as easy as possible on the kids.
One thing that you can do that might instantly put them at ease a bit about the situation is to share the news as a couple. Having both parents present when they get the news shows the kids that their parents will continue to work as a team to raise them. This might alleviate the fear that one parent will suddenly become uninvolved.
Talk to everyone at once so the information is consistent
The news that you’re divorcing is something that needs to be shared with all the kids at one time. Try to do this when there aren’t any big events in the immediate future. For example, telling the kids the week of finals at school isn’t a great idea. Of course, there might be instances in which you simply can’t avoid bad timing.
Reassure them that they aren’t the cause of your breakup
Some children think that they are the reason for the divorce. This isn’t ever the case since divorce is a decision that occurs between the adults. Be sure that you let the kids know that both parents love them very much and that they didn’t have any part in the decision. Don’t overshare, however. The kids don’t need to know the details of your split. It’s better to stick with phrases like, “We just decided we’re better as friends.”
For most children, stability in their home life is critical. Working out the parenting plan, or at least a temporary one, before you tell the children might be beneficial for everyone. Discuss this possibility with your attorney so you can ensure that your children, as well as you, are protected.
