Children are helpless bystanders when their parents’ divorce. They do not want it to happen, but there is nothing they can do about it.
As divorcing parents, you will have a lot on your mind. Yet, it is crucial to make time to ensure your children are coping. Not all children will tell you how they feel. Sometimes you need to probe for answers.
Divorce is not only about the legal matters when children are involved
While getting the right custody arrangements and child support payments is crucial, some matters are harder to measure. Here are four things your children need from you in a divorce:
- Information: Your children need you to help them understand how their daily life will change after your divorce. It allows them to build a picture of the future, making it easier to process.
- Reassurance: Children can feel responsible for the break up of their parent’s marriage. Make it clear the divorce is not their fault in any way.
- Stability: Divorce is an unstable time for any family, and you cannot avoid that. Yet, before making decisions, you should look at whether they will add to stability for your child or detract from it. Moving to a new area may seem like a fresh start to you. Yet, forcing your child to change school and find new friends will be destabilizing for them.
- Cooperation: If you can show your kids that divorce makes it easier for you and the other parent to get on, they may be quicker to realize it was for the best. The better you can work together as co-parents, the less likely it is that your divorce will affect your child.
There are several ways to handle your divorce. Options such as mediation can be invaluable when you have children. Working together as parents to find a way to end your partnership as spouses can make divorce easier for the whole family.
